After divorce - 7 tips about how to start a relationships

Jun 21, 2018

Getting back out there after divorce can seem like a daunting prospect. It might feel like you’re starting again from scratch - but that can be a great thing! 

You might find yourself choosing to stay single after divorce, which is an equally valid choice. 

Here we look at some tips to get you started in the dating scene now that you're happily divorced, especially if it’s been a long time since you went on a date. 

The way we date has changed a lot over time so it might seem confusing but stick with it! 

You can meet a ton of great people in many Online Dating Sites in South Africa and have lots of fun out there again.


Choosing to stay single after divorce

There are so many ways to live life after it, who says dating has to be a part of it? 

This is your life now and you don’t have to take anyone else’s opinions into account. (Hurrah!) If you’re happily divorced and not interested in the dating scene, don’t let anyone pressure you into ‘putting yourself out there’. 

They might think you’re lonely but you know yourself better than they do! If choosing to stay single after divorce is the right choice for you, then do it. 

Whether it’s because you’re not ready to date, or you’re simply not interested any more, you can be just as happy all by yourself. Life is what you make it, so go out and have fun with your friends instead!


The “After divorce what next” question

The divorce process is finally complete, and you’re happily divorced. Hurrah! What now? You’ve considered choosing to stay single after divorce, and decided it’s not for you. 

To the dating scene! But where is it these days? Well, before you even begin, you need to make sure you’re in the right place in your mind. 

Are you ready to jump into dating again? If not it might be better to wait; the last thing you need is to rush out and grab the nearest person, only to find out you’re repeating the same cycle all over again. 


Check your state of mind

Are you really happily divorced? You don’t want to bring a load of baggage into a new relationship. 

It’s easy to let resentment bleed over into your new life - if you can start with a clean slate, the ‘after divorce what next’ question will be much easier to answer. 

Know what you want from your dating life. You might well want to simply go out and have fun - so do that! But make sure that the people you date are aware of that, and that you’re not interested in another relationship. 

Don’t waste people’s time. Know your values. This might seem a little nebulous, but stick with it. Understand what’s important to you - your core values and beliefs. 

Know where you are willing to compromise and where you’re not before you start dating after divorce process, and stick to it.


Dating after divorce

Divorce process: done. Mental space: clear. Great! So how do you begin dating after divorce? Well, you may want to start by signing up to a dating website and creating a profile. This gives you quick and easy access to loads of other people who are also looking to start dating again. 

Sign up for groups, classes, and events where you are likely to meet like-minded people. If internet dating makes you queasy, the old-fashioned way is still just as good! 

This also ties in with our next tip, which is… Make time for the things you love to do. You don’t have to consider someone else’s needs or wishes, so go nuts! You love musicals, comic book conventions, swing dancing? 

Go do it! You might even meet someone new as a result. Even if you don’t, life should be fun, and not just in your dating life! 

Be open minded! Your perfect partner might come in a package you don’t recognise, so don’t overlook people if they don’t seem to fit your usual template. 

You don’t want to repeat the same mistakes after divorce, so it may be better to rethink old patterns and preferences anyway.

Are you a senior divorced? We have the best senior dating sites for you!


21st Century Dating

After divorce, you might find that the rules of dating have changed a bit. For example, there is nothing to stop you from dating several people at once. 

Who has time to serial date until they find The One? Just make sure that everyone knows that’s what you’re doing. If things are getting serious with one person, stop seeing the others. 

Texting is a common and accepted form of communication between dates now, too. 

Some people might frown on others who text too much, but there are few things dating after divorce that will brighten your day more than your phone buzzing with a message from that cute guy or girl you went out with last week.


So… how’s it going?

You’ve been on a few dates now, so how do you feel about the person you’re dating? Make sure you’re looking out for any warning signs - we’ve all accidentally dated our exes in the guise of someone new, but it’s important that you recognise that early if it’s happening. 

Seeing a familiar, unwelcome pattern beginning to emerge? Time to move on! If it’s going really well and you like this person - hurrah! 

Once you’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks, you can think about having the conversation. If they seem to be as into it as you are, have a chat about defining an exclusive relationship.


When all’s said and done…

Dating after divorce, like all dating, is supposed to be fun! If you’re not enjoying yourself, for whatever reason, your date will pick up on it. 

Don’t forget your life outside of dating either - whether you’re between dates or choosing to stay single after divorce, you should always make time for yourself. 

Put the divorce process behind you and have fun - you’ve earned it!